How to Come from a Loving Place When You’re Upset

“Come from Love, Live Free. Come from Judgment, Live Burdened.” – An Inspirational Love quote and a Powerful lesson on Speaking from a loving place when you’re upset

We all judge. It’s human nature. The question is: How much are you able to separate from your judgments so they don’t ruin your health and happiness?

In order to speak from a place of love, you need to have a bit of mental space free. That comes from recognizing that you’re judging.  Say to yourself, “Whoop, here I go judging again.” Repeat this as often as you judge, even when you’re judging yourself. As a psychologist, I frequently point out that bitterness and judgment eat away at the bond you have with someone. They slowly erode the emotional connection, but love strengthens the connection.

Come from Love and You Win, Except with a Raging Narcissist

Before you share a critical judgment with someone you love, consider that he or she will be most likely to hear your message if you come from love. Love creates a moment of reception for the recipient of your message. Bitterness and judgment will shut people down and make them unreceptive.

How do you come from love?

1. First, before you speak, remind yourself of what you love (or like) about the recipient of your message. That will influence how your message is shared (and received).
2. When it comes to a significant other, try to adopt the mentality that YOU WIN when your partner feels your love.

(Now for the disclaimer…If you’re with someone who has narcissistic qualities, your willingness to come from love versus judgment matters less if you don’t assert your boundaries and know your worth. A narcissist may feed off your inability to stand up for yourself. Said a different way, if you’re communicating your love with a narcissist, make sure you understand what you tend to get from him or her in return. You can’t keep giving without receiving. It will eventually destroy your physical and mental health. Consider seeking a consultation from a mental health professional. Here is a piece I wrote on helping you to determine if your partner is a narcissist.)